Amusement park rides and why I don't love them anymore

We got in the roller coaster car, Sissy and I, pulled down our lap bar and waited. 'Ohhh Mommy, I don't know about this,' she tried to sound worried, but she was grinning from ear to ear. 'You'll love it!' I assured her, confident that she would. And we were off. On the fastest wooden roller coaster in the country. It took about three seconds before I was overcome with fear. And I was totally stunned by it -- the fear I mean. Because I love roller coasters. I've never seen one I wouldn't ride, the faster the better. But I had never before ridden a rollercoaster with my child. Her brother didn't start riding thrill rides until he was a teenager. Sissy is a different sort of butterfly though, and was really stoked about it.She just barely met the 48" height requirement and naively I thought that meant it was officially safe for her to ride the ride. But during the ride, which was shaking ME around quite a bit, all I could think was how much smaller she is than me and how there was way too much space between her lap and the lap bar and how any minute now my baby girl was going to be flung out of the car and how if anything happened to her, it would be my fault because I was supposed to keep her safe. That's what parents do. That's what mothers do. They protect their children. And she trusted me to protect her. She knows that her Mommy would never let her do anything that would put her in real danger. That's why she got on this ride. She trusted me. And now here we were, hurtling through space at 100 miles an hour, and the insanity of it hit me. Why would ANYbody in her right mind, willingly put herself in a tiny convertible car that she knows is going to go freefalling down incredibly steep hills at incredibly fast speeds with a mere lap bar between her and a violent death, and not only that, cheerfully encourage her eight year old daughter to ride it WITH her??? I spent the rest of the ride praying and trying to brace Sissy in better with my body. When it was over, she wasn't sure she liked it and that was perfectly fine with me. Later, I had the same irrational fear-of-losing-my-child experience with Peanut on the swings. The swings of all things. This ride, which I had always considered moderately fun, but a little too low-key for my tastes, became a news headline making tragedy-in-waiting when I had Peanut beside me. She didn't seem to notice my fear and I'm quite proud of that. In reality, I didn't think I hid it very well. She laughed over and over, making 'whooo-hoooo' sounds and saying things like, 'Mommy isn't this fun? Mommy this is SO cool!' And I just smiled and agreed, all the while praying for the end of the ride and thinking back to the good old days when she was afraid of everything. I had hoped that my younger children wouldn't be timid and fearful of trying new things, and it appears I am getting what I wished for. And I'm wondering if I can take back the wish.