Around here, love is everything Mommy hasn't been lately.
Today, in a departure from my last few posts, I'm digging a little deep. The Scripture passage above is one of my favorites. It's hard for me to read because with each characteristic of love given, I see how far I fall short of the Biblical mark. It's almost like taking several dinstinct and deliberate punches. But the thing is, I need to be shown my weaknesses. I need to feel the sting of remorse and repentance, so that I can then feel the sweetness of God's mercy. And the process needs to happen over and over again.
Because as difficult as it is to have my eyes opened to how impatient, envious, and self-seeking I am, wouldn't it be terrible if I felt nothing when I read these words? Or even worse, if I felt good about myself after reading them? If I actually thought they describe me? Can't God do more with a heart that feels pain when He pricks it, than with a Teflon heart full of smug self-righteousness? Or is my line of thinking self-righteous in itself?.....as in " Look at me, I'm so tender-hearted, so contrite, so easily convicted of my wrongdoing, God must be pleased with me".
I don't know. I just know a mother who writes cute little blog descriptions about correcting children gently, and letting them be carefree and curious while they're young, should be a walking poster girl for 1 Corinthians 13. And she may do an OK job fooling everybody else, but she doesn't fool God. Yesterday when she began reading aloud the words "Love is patient, love is kind......", she was more conscious than ever of the two small souls next to her , depending on her to not only teach them, but to show them what love is …. and she had the uncomfortable feeling she wasn’t fooling them either.
But she is deeply thankful she has a God who corrects her gently, who repeatedly makes her aware of her weaknesses, but always reminds her that there is hope for her. And while love is the big idea here, for those of us who are less than perfect, hope is also pretty great.
5 comments:
I understand exactly what you mean. These verses do the same thing to me -- they show me that I fall so short of loving the way I should. I need to read them every day of my life to keep me reminded of all these things.
I love that as well - it was part of my wedding vow to my late husband.
Patience and kindness are things that become much easier as we get older, thank god!
I share your struggle. To look at God's words like looking into a mirror and often do not see the reflection of his words in my life. It is very convicting.
But conviction brings repentence. God knows our hearts.
Thank you for being so transparent in your post.
Your welcome Hadias. I actually HATE being transparent. I'd much rather post something light and funny, which is what I usually do. But sometimes other stuff demands to be written. I think a lot of peeople struggle with the same things and sometimes it's good to read that someone else feels what you feel. Anyway.
ROTFL - people! I meant people!
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